Screed

I believe in God, in Jesus, in the Holy Spirit, and in case my other gods don’t work out.

I believe nodding is an act of radical obedience.

I believe my large suburban house and two late model cars is a sign of God’s favor.

I believe turning the other cheek is unrealistic.

I believe prayer is a pretty good theory.

I believe in secrets.

I believe in MacIntosh, Starbucks, Honda, and the Bible—in that order.

I believe in excess well dressed.

I believe Jesus was prone to exaggeration.

I believe in minding my own freaking business.

I believe most pagans have it good.

I believe my way of life is worth the other side dying for.

I believe in being relevant.

I believe guilt is bad theology.

I believe in my neighbor’s fence.

I believe in possessions.

I believe sacrifice is Jesus’ thing.

I believe appetite is the leading of the Holy Spirit.

I believe the damned are damned for good damned reasons.

I believe that the Second Coming is a threat.

I believe God will make an exception for me.

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